WordUp

So I haven’t been on this shit in god knows how long. I’ve been stressing like a mo’fucker lately so I guess I’ll spill my life right now. School sucks and I’ve got more work than I’ve had in my entire like. I work 8.5 hour days at the hospital now at least 4 days a week and have 5 college classes. Organic chemistry and Calc 2 being the most difficult ones. Now whatever. I deal. My bf is a tool sometimes who lives about an hour away and I get lucky to see him on the weekends for a night. Whatever I <3 him. <3 him. Not love him. Love is stupid and doesn’t exist. There are so many different levels of love it’s fucking ridiculous. What one person sees as being love couldn’t possibly be another persons concept of that same word. Otherwise my ex wouldn’t tell me he loved me more than anything in the world but still find the time to tell another girl he was in love with her with his PEE in her VEE, ya dig? I dig. Maybe I’m just in a rage? Is dancing just dancing or is it something you wanna not let your boy do with a dirty tramp? Listen. I’m not blaming the dirty tramp for being a dirty tramp. I don’t hate her. I will never. How could I? I don’t hate anyone. Why do people hate. How can one person have such strong feelings of anger towards another person? No. I’m not blaming her at all. She cannot help but be a dirty slut. The poor girl just has such low self esteem and having guys want her is the only way to make her whorish self feel that much better. I understand that. It’s sad. But the person to make her feel wanted is the real criminal here. She in fact is just a victim of this horrible disgusting place we call a world. Whatever. I’ll live in this dream I call my life, hoping one day I’ll live picture perfect…but who really ever gets that anyway? Who lives their dreams? How many people out there actually get what they want in life. Whether what they want is that one special person or to even find out what love really is one day. Maybe to write a book. Idk. I know mine is to travel. To live in spain for a few years. To move to cali. Never have children and never depend on another person but myself especially when I become a doctor. But become a doctor? ME? A doctor of radiation. Okay I’m not a genius but…radiation has only been around so long…how much longer till we find a cure? Then what? I’m fucked. Okay blah blah blah medical field is booming…yeah? For how long? Till when? Until we find that cure? I got another 4 years of school at least. That’s fucking plenty of time to start finding cures. So what? What do I do now? I’m in a rut. Save me? But anyway. That’s life I guess. Never know where you’re gonna end up and it sure as hell isn’t gonna be where you wanted or planned on it to be. Whatever. PEACE BITCH. Ps…fabs- I hope you enjoyed my crazy rant haha